AAA 4 Diamond | Dining | Entertainment | Wind Creek Wetumpka

This one is a doozy...
So, a fateful day around 2010ish I was in that dingleberry of a swampy butthole of land known as Fort Polk doing my train up for a deployment. That's a fucking story in itself.
Anyhow, the end of the rotation had occurred, the war against whatever made up name country was won, and we were returning from Polky-land to our dependapotamuses. I was on a contact high as I was personally selected to be a part of my Battalion Commander's personal security detachment and all our joes were hand-selected by the Platoon Leader, Platoon Sergeant, and myself so we had a really awesome platoon. How awesome? When we did an escort mission with the Chaplain meeting with local religious leader, at the end, our division chaplain told us that "You guys fucking rocked that shit. Gave me a fucking hardon. That's what this division is all about. Fuck yeah."
Preach on brother.
Fast forward, fast forward.
Anyhow, my Platoon Sergeant came to me and told me I needed to go to the bay where my Commander and First Sergeant were. My first thought was of deep consideration and reflection.
"Shit." This can't be good.
When I arrive, my First Sergeant's first question to me "Do you have government travel card?" I nodded a confirmation from our Operation BS in Egypt. He looks at me and says "No, you don't." What fucking Jedi mindtrick is this? Did I forget to pay off a debt? Will I be summoned straight to the Division CSM for a beheading as seems to be the operating procedure whenever government travel cards payments come into question. Casually, my commander slides a brigade memorandum towards me and motions for me to read it.
I start reading and realize it's a tasking memorandum stating what each company will provide from brigade.
Alpha Company...
Two NCOs and three soldiers. "Suckers."
Bravo Company...
Three soldiers. "Nerds."
Charlie Company...
Three E6 NCOs. "Lol, loooossers..."
Delta Company...
Staff Sergeant Pickleindabutt. "well fuck me in the butt."
BY NAME?! I was the only fucking individual chosen by MY GOD DAMN FULL NAME in this memorandum. How does brigade even know I exist? Why am I being tasked directly? Who put this memo together and how the fuck did they know my name. Who the fuck volun-told my name without me receiving a whisper of such curse. Suddenly it dawned on me and I realized what this tasking needed me for.
"^hazmat"
Apparently I was the only person in brigade who could effectively fill out the forms for our HAZMAT containers. It started where I was just doing it for the company, moved to me declaring for battalion, and now BRIGADE is tracking me. AMO-62 qualification got me again and I was hand selected because my paperwork was the only one that kept getting cleared so they came after me.
My dudes and dudettes, I literally volunteered for this course to get me out of a field exercise so I could watch the SEC championship - no shit. I was a dumb grunt and I didn't even know what the course was and just wanted to get my Roll Tide on. I get there for class and they're like "This is for declaring hazardous material for shipment by land, sea, air, teleportation pods, Skynet time travel, and rail." My dumb ass E5 self was like "Lol, when the hell does any infantry dude declare HAZMAT. Cake."
A week later I was declaring HAZMAT for my brigade to Haiti so shows how well I could foreshadow things. You know how my paperwork always made it through? Let's break down the process.
Me arrive. Me find MSDSs for hazmat. Me find civilian inspector who is overshadowing the process.
"Yo, how do you want me to fill this out." Everyone else would be digging around the CFR 49 and I was just like "Lol, I can't read. Let me find the civilian who makes a career of this and ask them." And that's how I became the HAZMAT guy.
Fast forward, fast forward.
So now I'm part of a tasking that is ensuring our containers make it out of Beaumont, Texas. I already came to Polk on advance parties where I basically had AT&T screaming at me to stop using data while I watched all the episodes of Breaking Bad that was available at the time. Now I'm not even the rear detachment, I'm the past - I'm on fucking ice basically, a forgotten artifact of my brigade's Polk rotation. "Yall remember that one Staff Sergeant?... He told funny jokes... Whatever happened to him? I seem to recall him telling his soldiers to run over g-men at Polk whenever they surrounded his humvee while blatantly ignoring that a 50 cal was rocking them the whole time and then he just... vanished."
Fast forward, fast forward.
Me and two others will be grabbing a rental and driving to Beaumont. God damnit, I deploy in a few weeks and I'm already getting less time with my succubus future exwife that has a spending habit that makes Target wet thinking about it. Anyway, they move me to the brigade's bay. If you've never been to Polk, they have these hangers where they just stick a metric-fuck-ton of bunk beds when you're field rotation is over and you're either leaving or preparing for war with the g-men. The g-men are the Louisiana equivalent of Taliban and should never be trusted. They call themselves soldiers but they are the true enemy. While you're sludging through the swamps and wondering if you're in Vietnam, they come out of no where with their significantly enhanced miles laser gear and somehow your miles can never kill them. You just hear the beep of death of your gear to inform you that traitorous scum g-men nailed you. Probably for killing a Staff Sergeant they get a three day weekend or something.
So, here I am in the brigade headquarters and we just acquired a rental car with a fellow NCO and fresh out of the officer-oven Lieutenant. Lieutenant asks a fateful question "You guys want to go off base." Unfortunately I came to fight the g-men and did not know I was going to be traveling so I had no civilian clothes. So, we agree to go to Wal-Mart in town so I can buy the cheapest of the cheap threads since my wife at the time absolutely had to buy "live, laugh, love" useless items from retail stores at an alarming rate.
Listen to me, Polk is the middle of no where. It is a fucking swamp. I hated going there. I literally would shake the hands of people stationed there and tell them "You're in my thoughts and prayers." The place has a random wild horse herd and farm animals all over the place because people just dump their animals there. I had never left the base before and when we drove off I was basically like "Oh my..." It was like driving into a Flannery O'Connor novel but with strip clubs. There is absolutely nothing in Leesville but several strip clubs, a Wal-Mart, some shitty steakhouse, and trailers. Listen, I'm from Alabama and I was even like "Fuck. This isn't even deep south this is deepest south."
So anyway, I buy the literal cheapest threads from Wal-Mart for my journey to Beaumont and we decide to go into one of the strip clubs for a few drinks and... holy shit, this place was the most Jabba the Hutt's palace experience I have ever had except instead of Leia they had Jaba on the poles. I quietly order a beer, get propositioned for a backroom dance from a human opossum and could only quietly respond "No thank you I'm Christian" in an attempt to ward off others, and wonder how the fuck am I going to get this LT to drink his beer faster so we can fucking leave.
Fast forward, fast forward.
We finally arrived to Beaumont and check in our hotel. I'm suffering from a wicked hangover from the night before in Lake Charles which had about 10 women for each male at the bar we went to. When we get to the hotel, we all agree that we just want to get some food and the clerk recommends this Cajun themed restaurant down the road. We go there and there were no tables but three open seats at the bar so we chose that. As always, Army guys are only just going to talk about the fucking Army so we proceed with our usual dose of bitching and whinnying.
Suddenly, this older gent leads forward sitting beside us and says "YALL IN THE SERVICE?!"
"Sure 'nuff."
"YALL DEPLOYED!?"
"We have and we're heading back to Iraq in a few months."
"FOOD AND DRINKS ON ME - BARTENDER, SHOTS OF TEQUILA FOR ALL OF US AND MY MISSUS"
"That's not necessary sir we-"
"SHUT THE FUCK UP. FOOD - DRINKS ON ME."
And that's how I met who I will refer to as Chief. I call him Chief because later he told me he was a Navy veteran and later he told me he was a Seal - like 98% of Navy veterans you meet. Chief had his lovely girlfriend with him and was the loudest fucking Texan in a bar full of Texans. He was pretty funny but mind you I'm still dealing with this wicked hangover and really just wanted sleep. We eat our respective meals and have a few more shots and beers.
"WHAT'S YOUR PLANS TONIGHT!?"
"We're tired so we were just goin-"
"NOT IN MY TOWN ON A FRIDAY NIGHT. YOU BOYS ARE MEETING UP WITH ME."
"That's really not neces-"
"YOU HAVE TO TAKE MY OFFER BECAUSE I PAID YOUR MEALS AND DRINKS AND YOU'D BE DICKS IF OTHERWISE, MEET ME AT CHILI'S."
Well, fuck. Fair point. We ended up driving to this random Chili's after exchanging texts with them and shit. My LT is all worked up and excited like a puppy because he's hoping they're a rich couple who want to rain down upon us the riches of the world for THX 4 UR SERVICE. I'm more in the tune of thought that they're swingers and probably want untie one of our balloon knots in some heated up sexcapade.
All the sudden, this SUPED the fuck up Mustang pulls up beside us.
"HEY YALL SEEN SOME ARMY DOUCHEBAGS!?" as the window rolls down.
"I'm sorry, we're not like submarines or Marines, you can't go down on us sir."
"HA! LET'S SEE IF THAT PIECE OF SHIT CAN KEEP UP"
"It's a fucking rental Dodge of course it won't-" his Mustang goes flying off 2 Fast 2 Furious style. The Lieutenant is driving as I watch this Mustang Toyko-fucking-drift into the highway.
"Slow down and ask him the location by text. I don't want to die on the road." So Chief proceeds to text us the location of where they are heading. And of course, strip club. We pull up and it's about the nicest fucking strip club I have ever seen. Polar opposite to that fucking swamp trailer we had seen before. I'm walking in my Wal-Mart bin threads clothes like "Fuck I'm not dressed for this shit."
There's another couple with Chief now who introduce themselves to us. They're roughly around his age and married. Oh yeah, we are totally in a swinger situation. One of us is going to have to pay the dues and it isn't me. We walk in and sit down at this table and this place is two stories. Huge. Multiple dancers everywhere.
"ALL DRINKS ON ME, YOU WANT A DANCE, PUT IT ON MY CARD." He then proceeds to pull out $300 in ones and shuffles them to each of us so we total $100 each. Dude. WTF is this. Then he proceeds to buy a tray of jello shots and puts that on the table. At this time, a Mafiaso looking dude walks up to us in a nice suit.
"Thank you for getting the VIP section. Just so you're aware, you will have to purchase a $500 dollar bottle of champagne or a $1000 bottle." What. The. Fuck. We're in the VIP section of this club? Holy shit, how much does that cost? Here I am dressed in clothes that probably in total cost $17.67 and about to be drinking a bottle of $500 champagne.
"I DON'T WANT CHAMPAGNE! I WANT SOME REAL LIQUOR!" Gents and gentettes, I proceed to watch this man argue with the owner that he wants Captain Morgan over champagne. I am now at a loss of processing this TDY adventure. Finally the owner agrees to Captain Morgan but it will still cost $500 dollars.
He agrees. I just witnessed a man pay $500 dollars for a bottle of Captain Morgan. That I am almost positive that we never opened. I shit you not. I am holding back on throwing this dude's cash around because I'm still worried about the whole swinger aspect and them getting some soldier butthole later in the night when the festivities end.
Fast forward, fast forward.
Night ends. We bid our farewells to Chief and his friends. None of us was required to fuck one of them. Other NCO didn't drink at all so he drives us back to the hotel so we can finally crash. We do. TDY adventure now can get official and we can focus on our containers like professionals...
Hold fast. Rewind, rewind.
It's a Saturday. We don't have shit we can do. I'm awoken early in the morning by a knock at my door in which I answer and the Lieutenant is standing there with Chief on speaker yelling about jet-skis or some shit. wat?
"He said he told you that we were going on his boat today." Umm.... negative.
"MEET ME AT THE DOCKS" Chief yells on the phone and hangs up.
So, we ended up meeting them at whatever lake is near Beaumont and let me tell you what... I would have given up my butthole for the amount of fun we had on his boat and jet skis. Jesus Christ, that was one of the funnest days of my life. I had never ridden a jet ski before but was going nuts on it. In less than two hours of meeting up with him, I'm driving a jet ski for the first time in my life trying to keep up with his fucking boat so I don't lose him. I don't really have much to add to that but god damn jet skis are amazing.
Fast forward, fast forward.
So we get the boat back to the dock and, in case I didn't mention, it was Chief, his girlfriend, and the other couple I mentioned before. I hear them talking about going to some boat casino with a Jack Daniels restaurant. Chief's friend keeps telling me they make a steak that is so good you will want to "fuck it on the floor to relieve your erection" which I believe is a high compliment. They get ready to leave and we bid our farewells.
"THE FUCK ARE YALL TALKING ABOUT, SEE YOU THERE." Well okay, I guess we're going to a boat casino lol wtf. We go to a casino and they park the boat at the docks. I proceed to watch these fools drop mad money after eating a steak that I'm not sure I would call floor fucking worthy but pretty damn good. They then proceed to go nuts on the gambling. I mean fucking leaving me at their table with like $1,000 dollars so they could take a quick piss and I don't even gamble so I just stood there like a lost child. At one point, I notice Chief is missing so I decide to go check his boat.
Lo and behold, there he is swimming in the dock with his boat blaring music loud as fuck. As I am walking towards the concert, there is literally a party of people dancing to his music outside of a hotel room on a balcony. I walk down and he's climbing back in. About this time, the other NCO from my merry band of adventurers walks up to. Chief asks what service-members carry now in the Army and proceeds to pull a glock out of his boat glove compartment.
Alrighty now... I don't really care much for someone to be intoxicated and holding a gun. "Hey you should probably put-"
BANG
Mother. Fucker. Fucking. Fuck. FUCK. He totally just fired a round into the water. We are at a god damn casino and on the casino property. We are so about to taken the fuck down into depths of hell that I have never seen before. That dancing crew that I mentioned early, they're gone. Andddddd here comes security. Two behemoths of security guards heading our way. Once again, I go into the fucking zone and start walking towards them.
"HEY DID SOMEONE FIRE A GUN OVER HERE!?"
"Hey brother, that shit scared the fuck out of me."
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN?"
"It must have been like a boat backfire or something. I thought for sure it was a gunshot at first. I think the water made it sound weird. Scared the fuck out of me."
"How do you know it wasn't!?"
"Oh I'm in the Army bro. That shit made me think someone was shooting at us."
"Oh... Okay... You cool?"
"Yeah, I'm good man. Just spooked me."
"You need a drink? On the house if nee-"
"Nah, I'm good man. Thank you though. Have a nice night."
And that's how I avoided being taken into casino prison.
Fast forward, fast forward.
We bid our farewells and return back to the hotel. Sunday I get a call from Chief's friend who I will refer to as "Victor" calls me and asks if we would like to get a few Sunday beers. We agree and meet at this chill local bar and are just shooting the shit.
District Attorney for the area happen to be sitting in there and buys us rounds. God damn Texas really does fucking love the military, Jesus. At this time another older gentleman that knows Victor sits beside me and greets Victor. He asks me if I had deployed and I told him I had and was heading back over.
"I thought my war was bad, I feel bad for your situation with those bombs they put on the roads. Scary stuff."
"You were in?"
"Army, Vietnam. I was a forward observer."
This dude then proceeds to tell me stories about hiding in the brush from dog handlers who were hunting them down since they were forward observers. He proceeds to mention that if it wasn't for some Native American teaching them how to hide their scent, he would have been found. Basically learned how to rub shit on themselves so they could evade dog handlers. I'm sitting there in dismay at how he felt bad for my war... I may have gone into Iraqi shit creeks more than I cared for but I wasn't purposely rubbing shit in my hair so I could be behind deadly frontlines.
He then proceeds to talk about a battle he was in. How they were being overran at one point by the Vietnamese.
"We lost a lot of good men that day. Lots of friends." A slight tear rolls down his cheek and I saw him brush it away. You can usually spot a bull shitter with their gloats of heroism and valor. You know you're dealing with a man who had seen some shit when eyes water. A man who had seen some real hard shit in the bush. I could be wrong but I got the feeling he was the type that buried his experiences deep into his mind and never really got the chance to express his memories. He was a successful construction owner but I'm sure he still has nights judging by what he was telling me. Only to be probably spit on when he came home.
He asks to be excused so he can piss.
"I never knew he was in the service nor in Vietnam..." Victor says.
"I've known him for over 15 years and I had no clue." Bartender says.
Gentleman comes back and I ask if I can buy him a beer for his service as he had bought one for me. He agrees. Victor ended up picking up the tab before I could pay for that round. God damnit can I not fucking pay for anything here? I give him a firm handshake when I leave and tell him it was nice to meet him. Later I gave Victor my Combat Infantryman Badge and asked him to give it to the gentleman. Tell him I appreciate him telling me stories and mad respect for a man who had been through some real shit. While we were talking, he said something along the lines of not getting anything like infantry guys. Normally this would be debate worthy to me but I'm not saying shit to this gentleman. He's been through it.
"Does it mean anything when I give it to him?"
"Means essentially nothing but maybe it will be something to him."
Fast forward. I'm going to skip the part of going to a Roller Derby team after-party at a strip club where I saw behemoth sized women picking up strippers and toss money at them left and right. That was another doozy of a day. They were more crazy in the strip club than I had ever seen any crowd be.... Coming from a survivor of Fayettenam's strip club venues, that means something.
Alright. I'm on my final day and I've left a fuck ton more shit out of this story that occurred down in Beaumont for respectful reasons. We had to leave abruptly so I was on my last night. I went down to the hotel bar that I had gone into a few times. The bartender Steve was like the youngest 50 year old dude I had ever seen. I thought he was younger than me. Apparently my man Steve is a millionaire with a landscaping business and I ask him why he bartends and he says "Because of the funny fucking stories I get to hear from dudes like you." Oh, okay, word.
This other dude is sitting beside me and asks if I was in the Army as I well telling Steve the shit show of an experience I had since being in Beaumont.
"I was in too. I didn't go overseas or nothing like you did." I then proceed to have a very meaningful conversation with this dude on how he shouldn't look at it that way. He served and if called upon, he would have answered too. I offer to buy him a drink. He agrees and I ask Steve for a glass of their best scotch at the bar for both of us. I'm paying something in this god damn town before I leave. Just fucking something. I haven't dropped a dollar since Wal-Mart basically and this place has been so fucking kind to me, I'm putting something into Beaumont's economy. So help me God.
We talk. We finish our drinks. We shake hands. He departs. I look at Steve and realize that this will wrap up this adventure. My precious Beautmont adventure. What a time. You have been so kind and generous to me. Now it's time to pay for something for this town. Here we go.
"Get me tab Steve."
"It's on the house, Pickleindabutt."
FUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
I go on this rant about how everyone is paying everything for me and fuck let me just buy a round. Steve is laughing at me and refuses.
"JUST LET ME BUY AN RC COLA STEVE, SHIT!"
I finally convince him to give me $0.00 receipt and leave him a $20 dollar tip.
The next day we get back into uniform and realize we grossly did not estimate our trip to the airport accurately at all so we are speeding away from lovely Beaumont to whatever airport we needed to get to in Louisiana. While speeding we get pulled over by some Louisiana state trooper. He walks up to the passenger side where I am sitting at.
"Who the hell do you think you are speeding like - what the hell, yall going to war or something?" when he sees the uniforms.
"Well, we're trying to make our flight at the so we can go to Iraq."
Ehhh, not a lie necessarily...
"Alright, after you pass the next state trooper at the end of the coming construction zone, you should be able to gun it the rest of the way there. Be safe now!" Wasn't expecting that response but we'll take it.
And that was that. I went back to Fort Bragg. Beaumont's adventure was over and I somehow managed to survive. I came back on a regular workday night and went to bed. Woke up to my Staff Duty desk calling me at like 5am and my dumb ass Sergeant Major was on the line which is not what I wanted...
"Hey SSG Pickle! Were you trying to fucking kill yourself!?"
Dear God, did my Sergeant Major catch wind of all that was going down in Beaumont. I wasn't posting it on social media. Does he know the shennanigans? We got the containers through. Did he catch rumors of his Staff Sergeant parading around in strip clubs, almost crashing a jet ski, partying with Roller Derby girls, having to sit around a hospital waiting area for a day, being selected to be a special guest for a crawfish cook-off... Could they question my professionalism? Am I losing my spot on the security detachment. Did I fill out hazmat paperwork wrong?... What could this mean.
"Uh... negative."
"Oh shit wrong SSG, never mind." Hangs up.
Get a text from my Platoon Sergeant who is acting 1SG at this time and he's basically like "Come in today, now." I get there and he's basically like "Yeah everything has gone to shit for this pre-deployment. I need you in here." Whatever, that's fine. He's solid so I know it's the truth.
"By the way, how was that trip to Beaumont?"
"bro."

All of the MPAA/CARA-rated films of 2009 (out of the 7,004 films released worldwide that year.)

Aussie + Ted’s Great Adventure (Director: Shuki Levy)
Bomb! (Director: Antonio de Santos)
Curious George II: Follow That Monkey! (Director: Norton Virgien)
Hachi: A Dog’s Tale (Director: Lasse Hallström)
Hannah Montana: The Movie (Director: Peter Chelsom)
Jack And The Beanstalk (Director: Gary J. Tunnicliffe)
Kikkerdril (Director: Simone van Dusseldorp)
Mandie + The Secret Tunnel (Directors: Joy Chapman + Owen Smith)
Opposite Day (Director: R. Michael Givens)
Pelle Politibil går i vannet (Rasmus A. Sivertsen)
Sam Steele and the Junior Detective Agency (Director: Tom Whitus)
The Legacy (Director: Bernard Émond)
The Mighty Macs (Director: Tim Chambers)
The Princess And The Frog (Directors: Ron Clements + John Musker)
The Strawberry Shortcake Movie: Sky's the Limit (Directors: David Mucci Fassett + Michael Hack)
The True Story Of Puss ‘N Boots (Directors: Jérôme Deschamps, Pascal Hérold + Macha Makeïeff)
The Velveteen Rabbit (Director: Michael Landon, Jr.)
The Wild Stallion (Director: Craig Clyde)
Tinker Bell And The Lost Treasure (Director: Klay Hall)
Trail Of The Panda (Director: Zhong Yu)

A Christmas Carol (Director: Robert Zemeckis)
A Little Bit Of Faith (Director: Tiana Hailey)
A Shine Of Rainbows (Director: Vic Sarin)
Adam (Director: Joseph Minasi)
Alabama Moon (Director: Tim McCanlies)
Alien Trespass (Director: R.W. Goodwin)
Aliens In The Attic (Director: John Schultz)
Alvin + The Chipmunks: The Squeakquel (Director: Betty Thomas)
Amargura (Director: Antonio de Santos)
Amelia (Director: Mira Nair)
Arthur and the Revenge of Maltazard (Director: Luc Besson)
Astro Boy (Director: David Bowers)
Babysitters Beware (Director: Douglas Horn)
Bandslam (Director: Todd Graff)
Bigfoot (Director: Kevin Tenney)
Bride Wars (Director: Gary Winick)
Bright Star (Director: Jane Campion)
Broken Hill (Director: Dagen Merrill)
C Me Dance (Director: Greg Robbins)
Cairo Time (Director: Ruba Nadda)
Call Of The Wild (Director: Richard Gabai)
Cayman Went (Director: Bobby Sheehan)
Christmas Angel (Director: Brian Brough)
Christmas In Beverly Hills (Director: Neri Parenti)
Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatballs (Directors: Phil Lord + Christopher Miller)
Confessions Of A Shopaholic (Director: P.J. Hogan)
Coraline (Director: Henry Selick)
Coyote County Loser (Director: Jason Naumann)
Disco Cops: The Movie (Director: Tanner Robbins)
Dragonball: Evolution (Director: James Wong)
Earthwork (Director: Chris Ordal)
Faces (Director: Thomas R. Dickens)
Fame (Director: Kevin Tancharoen)
Fantastic Mr. Fox (Director: Wes Anderson)
From Time To Time (Director: Julian Fellowes)
G-Force (Director: Hoyt Yeatman)
A Ted Named Gooby (Gooby) (Director: Wilson Coneybeare)
Harry Potter + The Half-Blood Prince (Director: David Yates)
Heiran (Director: Shalizeh Arefpoor)
Hiroshima (Director: Pablo Stoll)
Hotel For Dogs (Director: Thor Freudenthal)
Ice Age: Dawn Of The Dinosaurs (Directors: Carlos Saldanha + Mike Thurmeier)
If God Wants (Director: Arthur Diennet)
Jump (Director: Stephen Fung)
Little Hercules (in 3-D) (Director: Mohamed Khashoggi)
Looking For Jackie (Directors: Gangliang Fang + Ping Jiang)
Lost In The Woods (Director: Jim Wynorski)
Luke And Lucy: The Texas Rangers (Directors: Wim Bien + Mark Mertens)
Mao’s Last Dancer (Director: Bruce Beresford)
Minor Details (Director: John Lyde)
Monsters vs. Aliens (Directors: Rob Letterman + Conrad Vernon)
Nativity! (Director: Debbie Isitt)
New In Town (Director: Jonas Elmer)
Night At The Museum: Battle Of The Smithsonian (Director: Shawn Levy)
Old Dogs (Director: Walt Becker)
One Good Man (Director: Christian Vuissa)
Party Time: The Movie (Director: Juanma Fernández-Paris)
Paul Blart: Mall Cop (Director: Steve Carr)
Pedro (Director: undisclosed)
Planet 51 (Directors: Jorge Blanco, Javier Abad + Marcos Martínez)
Princess Kaiulani (Director: Marc Forby)
Race To Witch Mountain (Director: Andy Fickman)
Raising Kayn (Director: Colton Tran)
Right Hand Drive (Director: Mark Kalbskopf)
Seafoam + Salmon (Director: Sarah Kim)
Shadows Of The Past (Director: Warren Ryan)
Shannon’s Rainbow (Director: Frank E. Johnson)
Shorts (Director: Robert Rodriguez)
Silent Nights (Director: Tom Poehlmann)
Sticky Fingers (Director: Ken Scott)
Summer Wars (Director: Mamoru Hosoda)
Super Capers: The Origins of Ed and the Missing Bullion (Director: Ray Griggs)
The Bee (Director: David Rountree)
The Dolphin: Story Of A Dreamer (Director: Eduardo Schuldt)
The Last Passport (Directors: Kent Smith + David Temple)
The Lightkeepers (Director: Daniel Adams)
The Lost + Found Family (Director: Barnet Bain)
The Perfect Game (Director: William Dear)
The Pink Panther II (Director: Harald Zwart)
The Prodigy (Director: Robert D. Hanna)
The Search (Director: Perna Tseden)
The Stinkville Monster (Director: Tony Trombo)
The Three Investigators and the Secret of Terror Castle (Director: Florian Baxmeyer)
The Young Victoria (Director: Jean-Marc Vallée)
Toys In The Attic (Directors: Jirí Barta + Vivian Schilling)
Up (Director: Pete Docter + Bob Peterson)
When North Winds Blow (Director: James M. De Vince)
Where The Wild Things Are (Director: Spike Jonze)
Wild Grass (Director: Alain Resnais)

PG-13

12 Rounds (Director: Renny Harlin)
17 Again (Director: Burr Steers)
2012 (Director: Roland Emmerich)
3 Idiots (Director: Rajkumar Hirani)
(500) Days Of Summer (Director: Marc Webb)
9 (Director: Shane Acker)
A Secret Promise (Director: Fred Manocherian)
A Serious Man (Director: Joel Coen)
According To Greta (Director: Nancy Bardawil)
Adam (Director: Max Mayer)
After Last Season (Director: Mark Region)
All About Steve (Director: Phil Traill)
All Ages Night (Director: Nancy Montuori Stein)
All For Liberty (Director: Chris Weatherhead)
All’s Faire In Love (Director: Scott Marshall)
Amor y Frijoles (Directors: Mathew Kodath + Hernan Pereira)
Amreeka (Director: Cherien Dabis)
An Education (Director: Lone Scherfig)
Angels + Demons (Director: Ron Howard)
Armored (Director: Nimród Antal)
Avatar (Director: James Cameron)
B-Girl (Director: Emily Dell)
Better The Devil You Know (Director: Greg Augustine)
Beyond A Reasonable Doubt (Director: Peter Hyams)
Black Sheep (Director: Humberto Hinojosa Ozcariz)
Black + Blue (Director: Jill Maxcy)
Bounty (Director: Jared Isham)
Bran Nue Dae (Director: Rachel Perkins)
Carriers (Directors: David Pastor + Àlex Pastor)
Chandni Chowk To China (Director: Nikkhil Advani)
Cirque du Freak: The Vampire's Assistant (Director: Paul Weitz)
City Island (Director: Raymond De Felitta)
Coco Before Chanel (Director: Anne Fontaine)
Cold Souls (Director: Sophie Barthes)
Couples Retreat (Director: Peter Billingsley)
Creation (Director: Jon Amiel)
Dance Flick (Director: Damien Dante Wayans)
Dear Lemon Lima (Director: Suzi Yoonessi)
Did You Hear About The Morgans? (Director: Marc Lawrence)
Drag Me To Hell (Director: Sam Raimi)
Dragon Hunter (Director: Stephen Shimek)
Duplicity (Director: Tony Gilroy)
Echelon Conspiracy (Director: Greg Marcks)
Endgame (Director Pete Travis)
Everybody’s Fine (Director: Kirk Jones)
Fanboys (Director: Kyle Newman)
Farzaneh (Director: David Brokhim)
Fast + Furious (Director: Justin Lin)
Father And Guns (Director: Émile Gaudreault)
Fighting (Director: Dito Montiel)
Fire From Below (Directors: Andrew Stevens + Jim Wynorski)
Fired Up! (Director: Will Gluck)
Flying By (Director: Jim Amatulli)
For Sale By Owner (Director: Robert J. Wilson)
Forget (Director: Jacob Landis-Eigsti)
Frequently Asked Questions About Time Travel (Director: Gareth Carrivick)
From Mexico With Love (Director: Jimmy Nickerson)
G.I. Joe: The Rise Of Cobra (Director: Stephen Sommers)
Gentlemen Broncos (Director: Jared Hess)
Get Low (Director: Aaron Schneider)
Ghosts Of Girlfriends Past (Director: Mark Waters)
God Send Me A Man (Directors: Emmbre Perry + Curtis Von)
God, Me...HIV? One Man Show (Directors: Devin T. Robinson + Darien F. Rodriguez)
Grilling Bobby Hicks (Director: Tommy Wood)
H2O Extreme (Director: William Scharpf)
He’s Just Not That Into You (Director: Ken Kwapis)
Hell’s Fury: Wanted Dead Or Alive (Director: Alan Chan)
HER (Directors: Tyrone Tann + Omega Kayne)
Hillbilly Bob Zombie (Director: Ray Basham)
Hurricane Season (Director: Tim Story)
I Can Do Bad All By Myself (Director: Tyler Perry)
I Hate Valentine’s Day (Director: Nia Vardalos)
I Love You, Beth Cooper (Director: Chris Columbus)
Imagine That (Director: Karey Kirkpatrick)
Invictus (Director: Clint Eastwood)
Irene In Time (Director: Henry Jaglom)
It’s A Mismatch (Director: Ajmal Zaheer Ahmad)
Julie + Julia (Director: Nora Ephron)
Karma Calling (Director: Sarba Das)
Knowing (Director: Alex Proyas)
Labor Pains (Director: Lara Shapiro)
Land Of The Lost (Director: Brad Silberling)
Like Dandelion Dust (Director: Jon Gunn)
Love Happens (Director: Brandon Camp)
Love Hurts (Director: Barra Grant)
Love N’ Dancing (Director: Robert Iscove)
Lurking Under Life (Director: William Conrad)
Mack Hanglider (Directors: Mark Macaluso + Peter Macaluso)
Madea Goes To Jail (Director: Tyler Perry)
Mega Diva (Director: Roberto Angel Salcedo)
Mexican Gold (Director: Chuck Walker)
Monster Beach Party (Director: Jay Wade Edwards)
Motherhood (Director: Katherine Dieckmann)
My Life In Ruins (Director: Donald Petrie)
My One And Only (Director: Richard Loncraine)
My Sister’s Keeper (Director: Nick Cassavetes)
Nine (Director: Rob Marshall)
Ninja Masters (Director: Xin Xin Xiong)
No Greater Love (Director: Brad J. Silverman)
Nobody (Director: Rob Perez)
Not Easily Broken (Director: Bill Duke)
Not Since You (Director: Jeff Stephenson)
Nowhere To Hide (Director: John Murlowski)
Obsessed (Director: Steve Shill)
Ondine (Director: Neil Jordan)
Oy Vey! My Son Is Gay!! (Director: Evgeny Afineevsky)
Palo Pinto Gold (Director: Anthony Henslee)
Paper Heart (Director: Nicholas Jasenovec)
Partners (Director: Peter James Iengo)
Passport To Love (Director: Victor Vu)
Pastor Browne (Director: Rockmond Dunbar)
Pennsylvania Is For Lovers (Director: Mickey Reece)
Play The Game (Director: Marc Fienberg)
Poema de salvación (Director: Brian Dublin)
Poker Run (Director: Julian Higgins)
Post Grad (Director: Vicky Jenson)
Push (Director: Paul McGuigan)
Ripples (Director: Marc Williams)
Rock Slyde (Director: Chris Dowling)
Royal Kill (Director: Babar Ahmed)
Sabotage (Director: Reza Sixo Fafai)
Sherlock Holmes (Director: Guy Ritchie)
Something Blue (Directors: Sean Dillon + Curtis Krick)
Spyware (Director: Grant Richards)
Star Quest (Director: Jon Bonnell)
Star Trek (Director: J.J. Abrams)
State Of Play (Director: Kevin McDonald)
Stay Cool (Director: Michael Polish)
Steppin: The Movie (Director: Michael Taliferro)
Street Fighter: The Legend Of Chun-Li (Director: Andrzej Bartkowiak)
Sugarland (Director: Kenny Fisher)
Surrogates (Director: Jonathan Mostow)
Terminator: Salvation (Director: McG)
That Evening Sun (Director: Scott Teems)
The Blind Side (Director: John Lee Hancock)
The Box (Director: Richard Kelly)
The Boys Are Back (Director: Scott Hicks)
The Break-Up Artist (Director: Steve Woo)
The City Of Your Final Destination (Director: James Ivory)
The Concert (Director: Radu Mihaileanu)
The Deported (Director: Lance Kawas)
The Fourth Kind (Director: Olatunde Osunsanmi)
The Greatest Song (Director: Sarah Poindexter)
The Gun (Director: Julio Alvarez)
The Haunting In Connecticut (Director: Peter Cornwell)
The Hole (Director: Joe Dante)
The Imaginarium Of Doctor Parnassus (Director: Terry Gilliam)
The Indian (Director: Ineke Houtman)
The Invention Of Lying (Directors: Ricky Gervais + Matthew Robinson)
The Jerk Theory (Director: Scott S. Anderson)
The Least Among You (Director: Mark Young)
The Lovely Bones (Director: Peter Jackson)
The Maiden Heist (Director: Peter Hewitt)
The Marc Pease Experience (Director: Todd Louiso)
The New Daughter (Director: Luiso Berdejo)
The Open Road (Director: Michael Meredith)
The Proposal (Director: Anne Fletcher)
The Shortcut (Director: Nicholaus Goossen)
The Six Wives Of Henry Lefay (Director: Howard Michael Gould)
The Smell Of Success (Director: Michael Polish)
The Soloist (Director: Joe Wright)
The Stepfather (Director: Nelson McCormick)
The Storm Warriors (Directors: Danny Pang + Oxide Chun Pang)
The Strip (Director: Jameel Khan)
The Time Traveler’s Wife (Director: Robert Schwentke)
The Twilight Saga: New Moon (Director: Chris Weitz)
The Unborn (Director: David S. Goyer)
The Uninvited (Directors: Charles Guard + Thomas Guard)
The Way (Director: Vladimir Pasichnik)
The Winning Season (Director: Jim Strouse)
The Yankles (Director: David R. Brooks)
To Save A Life (Director: Brian Baugh)
Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen (Director: Michael Bay)
Under The Mountain (Director: Jonathan King)
Whatever Works (Director: Woody Allen)
Where The Lotus Blooms (Director: Metrey Keo)
Whip It (Director: Drew Barrymore)
White Wedding (Director: Jann Turner)
White On Rice (Director: Dave Boyle)
Wild About Harry (Director: Gwen Wynne)
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (Director: Gavin Hood)
Year One (Director: Harold Ramis)
You Are Not The Father! (Director: Gerron DelValle)

(Untitled) (Director: Jonathan Parker)
21 + a Wake Up (Director: Chris McIntyre)
31 North 62 East (Director: Tristan Loraine)
44 Inch Chest (Director: Malcolm Venville)
A Heavenly Vintage (Director: Niki Caro)
A Perfect Getaway (Director: David Twohy)
A Prophet (Director: Jacques Audiard)
A Single Man (Director: Tom Ford)
A Vampire’s Tale (Director: Drew Cullingham)
A Woman, A Gun + A Noodle Shop (Director: Yimou Zhang)
Accidents Happen (Director: Andrew Lancaster)
Across The Hall (Director: Alex Merkin)
Adopted (Director: Pauly Shore)
Adventureland (Director: Greg Mottola)
After.Life (Director: Agnieszka Wojtowicz-Vosloo)
Against The Current (Director: Peter Callahan)
Agora (Director: Alejandro Amenábar)
Albino Farm (Director: Joe Anderson)
All American Orgy (Director: Andrew Drazek)
Alpha Males Experiment (Knuckle Draggers) (Director: Alex Ranarivelo)
Amar (Director: Jorge Ramírez Suárez)
Amar a morir (Director: Fernando Lebrija)
American Cowslip (Director: Mark David)
American Virgin (Director: Clare Kilner)
Angel Of Death (Director: Paul Etheredge)
Anytown (Director: Dave Rodriguez)
Applause (Director: Martin Zandvliet)
April Showers (Director: Andrew Robinson)
Assault Of The Sasquatch (Director: Andrew Gernhard)
Attack On Darfur (Director: Uwe Boll)
Autumn (Director: Steven Rumbelow)
Away We Go (Director: Sam Mendes)
Baby On Board (Director: Brian Herzlinger)
Bad Lieutenant: Port Of Call - New Orleans (Director: Werner Herzog)
Baja Beach Bums (Director: Patrick Healy)
Balls Out: Gary The Tennis Coach (Director: Danny Leiner)
Bangkok Adrenaline (Director: Raimund Huber)
Bazookas: The Movie (Director: Michael G. Leonard)
Beautiful (Director: Dean O’Flaherty)
Beautiful Kate (Director: Rachel Ward)
Beauty + The Beast (Director: David Lister)
Behaving Badly (Director: Juan Drago)
Big Fan (Director: Robert D. Siegel)
Bitch Slap (Director: Rick Jacobson)
Black (Director: Pierre Laffargue)
Black Dynamite (Director: Scott Sanders)
Blackface Killer (Director: Michael Fredianelli)
Bled (Director: Christopher Hutson)
Blood Creek (Director: Joel Schumacher)
Blood Night: The Legend Of Mary Hatchet (Director: Frank Sabatella)
Blood + Bone (Director: Ben Ramsey)
Blood: The Last Vampire (Director: Chris Nahon)
Bob Funk (Director: Craig Carlisle)
Boogie Woogie (Director: Duncan Ward)
Book Of Blood (Director: John Harrison)
Breaking Point (Director: Jeff Celentano)
Broken Embraces (Director: Pedro Almodóvar)
Brooklyn’s Finest (Director: Antoine Fuqua)
Brother’s War (Director: Jerry Buteyn)
Brotherhood (Director: Nicolo Donato)
Brothers (Director: Jim Sheridan)
Brüno (Director: Larry Charles)
Cabin Fever II: Spring Fever (Director: Ti West)
Calvin Marshall (Director: Gary Lundgren)
Case 39 (Director: Christian Alvart)
Chain Letter (Director: Deon Taylor)
Chaw (Director: Jeong-won Shin)
Chicago Overcoat (Director: Brian Caunter)
Chloe (Director: Atom Egoyan)
Chéri (Director: Stephen Frears)
City Of Life + Death (Director: Chuan Lu)
Clash (Director: Thanh Son Le)
Coco Chanel + Igor Stravinsky (Director: Jan Kounen)
Cold Storage (Director: Tony Elwood)
Command Performance (Director: Dolph Lundgren)
Cornered! (Director: Daniel Maze)
Cracks (Director: Jordan Scott)
Crank: High Voltage (Directors: Mark Neveldine + Brian Taylor)
Crazy Heart (Director: Scott Cooper)
Creature Of Darkness (Director: Mark Stouffer)
Crimes Of The Past (Director: Garrett Bennett)
Crossing Over (Director: Wayne Kramer)
Crush (Directors: Jeffrey Gerritsen + John V. Soto)
Crush (Director: Michelle Fridley)
Cyber Ninja (Director: James Arnett)
Damage (Director: Jeff King)
Damned By Dawn (Director: Brett Anstey)
Dare (Director: Adam Salky)
Dark Country (Director: Thomas Jane)
Dark Fields (Director: Douglas Schulze)
Dark Frontier (Director: Kriv Stenders)
Dark House (Director: Darin Scott)
Dark Moon Rising (Director: Dana Mennie)
Daybreakers (Directors: Michael Spierig + Peter Spierig)
Dead Man Running (Director: Alex De Rakoff)
Deadland (Director: Damon O’Steen)
Deadline (Director: Sean McConville)
Death Warrior (Director: Bill Corcoran)
Deep In The Valley (Director: Christian Forte)
Defendor (Director: Peter Stebbings)
Desert Flower (Director: Sherry Hormann)
Diagnosis: Death (Director: Jason Stutter)
Direct Contact (Director: Danny Lerner)
Dismal (Director: Gary King)
District 13: Ultimatum (Director: Patrick Alessandrin)
District 9 (Director: Neill Blomkamp)
Dolan’s Cadillac (Director: Jeff Beesley)
Don McKay (Director: Jake Goldberger)
Don’t Let Me Down (Director: Cruz Angeles)
Don’t Look Up (Director: Fruit Chan)
Dorian Gray (Director: Oliver Parker)
Double Identity (Director: Dennis Dimster)
Down Terrace (Director: Ben Wheatley)
Down For Life (Director: Alan Jacobs)
Dread (Director: Anthony DiBlasi)
Drifter: Henry Lee Lucas (Director: Michael Feifer)
Elsewhere (Director: Nathan Hope)
End Game (Director: Bruce Koehler)
Endless Bummer (Director: Sam Pillsbury)
Evil Things (Director: Dominic Perez)
Extract (Director: Mike Judge)
Eyeborgs (Director: Richard Clabaugh)
Eyes Of The Woods (Directors: Darrin Reed, F. Miguel Valenti + Mark Villalobos)
Falling Awake (Director: Agustin)
Fatal Secrets (Director: Meir Sharony)
Finding Bliss (Director: Julie Davis)
Fireball (Director: Thanakorn Pongsuwan)
Five Minutes Of Heaven (Director: Oliver Hirschbiegel)
Force Of Five (Director: Krissanapong Rachata)
Forget Me Not (Director: Tyler Oliver)
Formosa Betrayed (Director: Adam Kane)
Four Boxes (Director: Wyatt McDill)
Frankenhood (Director: Blaxwell Smart)
Frat Party (Director: Robert Bennett)
Friday The 13th (Director: Marcus Nispel)
Frozen Kiss (Director: Harry Bromley Davenport)
Funny People (Director: Judd Apatow)
Fury (Director: Liz Lehmann)
Gamer (Directors: Mark Neveldine + Brian Taylor)
Ghost Machine (Director: Chris Hartwill)
Ghost Month (Director: Danny Draven)
Giallo (Director: Dario Argento)
Give ‘em Hell Malone (Director: Russell Mulcahy)
Glorious 39 (Director: Stephen Poliakoff)
Good Guys Finish Last (Director: Riley Wood)
Grace (Director: Paul Solet)
Halloween II (Director: Rob Zombie)
Handsome Harry (Director: Bette Gordon)
Happy Tears (Director: Mitchell Lichtenstein)
Hard Times (Director: Tom Reeve)
Hardwired (Director: Ernie Barbarash)
Harry Brown (Director: Daniel Barber)
Heavy Weight On The Block (Director: F. Terrell Johnson)
Helen (Director: Sandra Nettelbeck)
Hellbinders (Directors: Mitch Gould, Hiro Koda + David Wald)
Heroes (Director: Malcolm Brooks)
Hidden (Director: Pål Øie)
Hierarchy (Director: Michael Fredianelli)
High Life (Director: Gary Yates)
Homecoming (Director: Morgan J. Freeman)
Horsemen (Director: Jonas Åkerlund)
House Broken (Director: Sam Harper)
Humpday (Director: Lynn Shelton)
Hunger (Director: Steven Hentges)
Hurt (Director: Barbara Stepansky)
I Am Love (Director: Luca Guadagnino)
I Do...I Did! (Director: J. Jesses Smith)
I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell (Director: Bob Gosse)
I Love You Phillip Morris (Directors: Glenn Ficarra + John Requa)
I Love You Too (Director: Nerlin Stfleur)
I Love You, Man (Director: John Hamburg)
Ibrahim Labyad (Director: Marwan Hamed)
Ikenhisu: To Kill With One Blow (Director: La’Mard J. WIngster)
Immortally Yours (Director: Joe Tornatore)
In Her Skin (Director: Simone North)
In The Electric Mist (Director: Bertrand Tavernier)
In The Eyes Of A Killer (Director: Louis Mandylor)
InSearchOf (Director: Zeke Zelker)
Infestation (Director: Kyle Rankin)
Ingenious (Director: Jeff Balsmeyer)
Inglourious Basterds (Director: Quentin Tarantino)
Into Temptation (Director: Patrick Coyle)
It’s Complicated (Director: Nancy Meyers)
Jarring (Director: Ivo Raza)
Jennifer’s Body (Director: Karyn Kusama)
Johnny Boy (Directors: Mickey Reece + James Paulsgrove)
Jordan Saffron: Taste This! (Director: Sergio Myers)
Just Another Day (Director: Peter Spirer)
Kicking The Dog (Director: Randy Scooter Lammey)
Kill Peter, Pay Paul (Directors: Kenny Foster + Dustin S. Massie)
Kill Theory (Director: Chris Moore)
Killer View (Director: Brian James O’Connell)
Knife Edge (Director: Anthony Hickox)
Know Thy Enemy (Director: Lee Cipolla)
La Linea (The Line) (Director: James Cotton)
La Mission (Director: Peter Bratt)
La soga (Director: Josh Crook)
Laid To Rest (Director: Robert Hall)
Last Day Of Summer (Director: Vlad Yudin)
Law Abiding Citizen (Director: F. Gary Gray)
Leaves Of Grass (Director: Tim Blake Nelson)
Lebanon (Director: Samuel Maoz)
Legend Of The Bog (Director: Brendan Foley)
Lies + Illusions (Director: Tibor Takács)
Life During Wartime (Director: Todd Solondz)
Life Is Hot In Cracktown (Director: Buddy Giovinazzo)
Little Fish, Strange Pond (Director: Gregory Dark)
Little New York (Director: James DeMonaco)
Lofty Intentions (Director: Gerard Jamroz)
Lost Angels (Director: Justin Voskian)
Love Conquers Paul (Director: Colin Bannon)
Love And Other Impossible Pursuits (Director: Don Roos)
Love At First Hiccup (Director: Barbara Topsøe-Rothenborg)
Loyalty The Movie (Director: Samuel Wheeler III)
Lynch Mob (Director: Byron Conrad Erwin)
Malice In Wonderland (Director: Simon Fellows)
Mandrill (Director: Ernesto Díaz Espinoza)
Maneater (Director: Michael Emanuel)
Manson: My Name Is Evil (Director: Reginald Harkema)
Map Of The Sounds Of Tokyo (Director: Isabel Coixet)
Merantau (Director: Gareth Evans)
Mercy (Director: Patrick Hoelck)
Micmacs (Director: Jean-Pierre Jeunet)
Middle Men (Director: George Gallo)
Midgets vs. Mascots (Director: Ron Carlson)
Miss March (Directors: Zach Cregger + Trevor Moore)
Moon (Director: Duncan Jones)
Mortal Sin (Director: David Von Roehm)
Mother (Director: Bong Joon Ho)
Mother + Child (Director: Rodrigo Garcia)
Mr. Nobody (Director: Jaco Van Dormael)
Mutants (Director: David Morlet)
My Bloody Valentine (in 3-D) (Director: Patrick Lussier)
My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done? (Director: Werner Herzog)
Mystery Train (Director: Dan Eckman)
Mythical Creatures (Director: Mickey Reece)
Neighbor (Director: Robert A. Masciantonio)
Never Surrender (Director: Hector Echavarria)
New Brooklyn (Director: Christopher Cannucciari)
Next Day Air (Director: Benny Boom)
Night Train (Director: Brian King)
Night Of The Demons (Director: Adam Gierasch)
Ninja (Director: Isaac Florentine)
Ninja Assassin (Director: James McTeigue)
No Boundaries (Directors: Violet Mendoza + Jake Willing)
Not Forgotten (Director: Dror Soref)
Notorious (Director: George Tillman, Jr.)
Nowhere Boy (Director: Sam Taylor-Johnson)
Observe And Report (Director: Jody Hill)
Offspring (Director: Andrew van den Houten)
Open Graves (Director: Álvaro de Armiñán)
Orphan (Director: Jaume Collet-Serra)
Orville (Director: Craig McMahon)
Pandemic (Director: Jason Connery)
Pandorum (Director: Christian Alvart)
Paper Man (Directors: Kieran Mulroney + Michele Mulroney)
Perkins’ 14 (Director: Craig Singer)
Perrier’s Bounty (Director: Ian Fitzgibbon)
Personal Effects (Director: David Hollander)
Pirate Radio (Director: Richard Curtis)
Powder Blue (Director: Timothy Linh Bui)
Precious (Director: Lee Daniels)
Protégé (Directors: Shannon Casto + Michelle Henderson)
Public Enemies (Director: Michael Mann)
Raging Phoenix (Director: Rashane Limtrakul)
Rain Fall (Director: Max Mannix)
Rampage (Director: Uwe Boll)
Ratko: The Dictator’s Son (Directors: Savage Steve Holland + Kevin Speckmaier)
Ready For Not (Director: Sean Doyle)
[rec.] II (Directors: Jaume Balagueró + Paco Plaza)
Red Hook (Director: Elizabeth Lucas)
Red Sands (Director: Alex Turner)
Redemption (Director: Robert Conway)
Revenge: True Story (Director: Berenika Maciejewicz)
Reykjavik Whale Watching Massacre (Director: Júlíus Kemp)
RiffRaff (Director: Justen Naughton)
Robodoc (Director: Stephen Maddocks)
Rough Winds (Director: Andrea Olabarría)
Running On Empty Dreams (Director: Nitara Lee Osbourne)
S. Darko (Director: Chris Fisher)
Saddle Up With Dick Wrangler + Injun Joe (Director: Todd Wolfe)
Saint John Of Las Vegas (Director: Hue Rhodes)
Saving Grace B. Jones (Director: Connie Stevens)
Saw VI (Director: Kevin Greutert)
Serious Moonlight (Director: Cheryl Hines)
Shank (Directors: Simon Pearce + Christian martin)
Shark City (Director: Dan Eisen)
Shattered Focus (Director: Joshua Tolby)
Shinjuku Incident (Director: Tung-Shing Yee)
Shrink (Director: Jonas Pate)
Shroud (Director: David Jetre)
Silent Night, Zombie Night (Director: Sean Cain)
Silent Shame (Director: Juan Frausto)
Sin Nombre (Director: Cary Joji Fukunaga)
Slaughter (Director: Stewart Hopewell)
Slave (Director: Darryn Welch)
Smalltimore (Director: Jeanie M. Clark)
Smile Pretty (Director: Harry Bromley Davenport)
Solitary Man (Directors: Brian Koppelman + David Levien)
Solomon Kane (Director: Michael J. Bassett)
Sorority Row (Director: Stewart Hendler)
Splice (Director: Vincenzo Natali)
Splinterheads (Director: Brant Sersen)
Spooner (Director: Drake Doremus)
Spread (Director: David Mackenzie)
Spring Breakdown (Director: Ryan Shiraki)
Stan Helsing (Director: Bo Zenga)
Stolen (Director: Anders Anderson)
Strangers Online (Director: John Huckert)
Street Boss (Director: Lance Kawas)
Street Dreams (Director: Chris Zamoscianyk)
Streetballers (Director: Matt Krentz)
Stuntmen (Director: Eric Amadio)
Suck (Director: Rob Stefaniuk)
Sugar Boxx (Director: Cody Jarrett)
Summer’s Moon (Director: Lee Demarbre)
Sundo (Director: Topel Lee)
Survival Of The Dead (Director: George A. Romero)
Sutures (Director: Tammi Sutton)
Sway (Director: Sean Ireland)
Sweet Karma (Director: Andrew Thomas Hunt)
Sword Of War (Director: Renzo Martinelli)
Table For Three (Director: Michael Samonek)
Taking Chances (Director: Talmage Cooley)
Taking Woodstock (Director: Ang Lee)
Tanner Hall (Directors: Francesca Gregorini + Tatiana von Furstenberg)
Tell Tale (Director: Michael Cuesta)
Tenderness (Director: John Polson)
Tetro (Director: Francis Ford Coppola)
The 420 Movie (Directors: James Blackburn, Scott Flick, + Robert Nathan Gleason)
The Answer Man (Director: John Hindman)
The Assailant (Director: João Daniel Tikhomiroff)
The Assassin Next Door (Director: Danny Lerner)
The Beacon (Director: Michael Stokes)
The Black Waters Of Echo’s Pond (Director: Gabriel Bologna)
The Bleeding (Director: Charlie Picerni)
The Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day (Director: Troy Duffy)
The Boxer (Director: Thomas Jahn)
The Bridge To Nowhere (Director: Blair Underwood)
The Broken Hearts Club (Director: Angelo Bell)
The Brotherhood V: Alumni (Director: David DeCoteau)
The Buffalo Son (Directors: Colin Davis, Bryan Felber + Sam France)
The Butterfly Effect III: Revelations (Director: Seth Grossman)
The Canyon (Director: Richard Harrah)
The Casino Job (Director: Christopher Robin Hood)
The Collector (Director: Marcus Dunstan)
The Cry Of The Owl (Director: Jamie Thraves)
The Crypt (Director: Craig McMahon)
The Damned United (Director: Tom Hooper)
The Dark Lurking (Director: Gregory Connors)
The Descent: Part II (Director: Jon Harris)
The Devil’s Ground (Director: Michael Bafaro)
The Devil’s Tomb (Director: Jason Connery)
The Director’s Cut (Director: Paul Komadina)
The Disappearance Of Alice Creed (Director: J. Blakeson)
The Donner Party (Director: Terrence Martin)
The Echo Game (Director: Brian Feeney)
The Eclipse (Director: Conor McPherson)
The Fighter (Director: Javier Barbera)
The Final Destination (Director: David R. Ellis)
The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet’s Nest (Director: Daniel Alfredson)
The Girl Who Played With Fire (Director: Daniel Alfredson)
The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (Director: Niels Arden Oplev)
The Girlfriend Experience (Director: Steven Soderbergh)
The Good Guy (Director: Julio DePietro)
The Good Heart (Director: Dagur Kári)
The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard (Director: Neal Brennan)
The Graves (Director: Brian Pulido)
The Greatest (Director: Shana Feste)
The Grudge III (Director: Toby Wilkins)
The Gunslingers (Director: Adam Oxsen)
The Hangover (Director: Todd Phillips)
The Haunting (Director: Elio Quiroga)
The Hiding (Director: Ramon Hamilton)
The Hitmen Diaries: Charlie Valentine (Director: Jesse V. Johnson)
The House Of The Devil (Director: Ti West)
The Human Centipede (First Sequence) (Director: Tom Six)
The Hungry Ghosts (Director: Michael Imperioli)
The Informant! (Director: Steven Soderbergh)
The International (Director: Tom Tykwer)
The Invisible Chronicles (Director: David DeCoteau)
The Janky Promoters (Director: Marcus Raboy)
The Job (Director: Shem Bitterman)
The Joneses (Director: Derrick Borte)
The Keeper (Director: Keoni Waxman)
The Killing Room (Director: Jonathan Liebesman)
The Last House On The Left (Director: Dennis Iliadis)
The Last Resort (Director: Brandon Nutt)
The Last Station (Director: Michael Hoffman)
The Limb Collector (Director: Mark Daniel Foley)
The Limits Of Control (Director: Jim Jarmusch)
The Lodger (Director: David Ondaatje)
The Lost Tribe (Director: Roel Reiné)
The Loved One (Director: Sean Byrne)
The Men Who Stare At Goats (Director: Grant Heslov)
The Messenger (Director: Oren Moverman)
The Ministers (Director: Franc. Reyes)
The Nail: The Story Of Joey Nardone (Director: James Quattrochi)
The Outside (Director: Ari Davis)
The Perfect Age Of Rock ‘n’ Roll (Director: Scott D. Rosenbaum)
The Perfect Sleep (Director: Jeremy Alter)
The Pool Boys (Director: J.B. Rogers)
The Private Lives Of Pippa Lee (Director: Rebecca Miller)
The Rebound (Director: Bart Freundlich)
The Revenant (Director: D. Kerry Prior)
The Road (Director: John Hillcoat)
The Scenesters (Director: Todd Berger)
The Seamstress (Director: Jesse James Miller)
The Secret In Their Eyes (Director: Juan José Campanella)
The Slammin’ Salmon (Director: Kevin Heffernan)
The Steam Experiment (Director: Philippe Martinez)
The Taking Of Pelham 123 (Director: Tony Scott)
The Thaw (Director: Mark A. Lewis)
The Tomb (Director: Michael Staininger)
The Tournament (Director: Scott Mann)
The Truth About Average Guys (Directors: Ken Gayton + Jason W. Schaver)
The Ugly Truth (Director: Robert Luketic)
The Vicious Kind (Director: Lee Toland Krieger)
The Waiting City (Director: Claire McCarthy)
The Way Of War (Director: John Carter)
The White Ribbon (Director: Michael Haneke)
Thick As Thieves (Director: Mimi Leder)
Thirst (Director: Chan-wook Park)
TiMER (Director: Jac Schaeffer)
Tidal Wave (Director: JK Youn)
Today’s Special (Director: David Kaplan)
Tormented (Director: Jon Wright)
Trailer Park Boys: Countdown To Liquor Day (Director: Mike Clattenburg)
Transylmania (Directors: David Hillenbrand + Scott Hillenbrand)
Triage (Director: Danis Tanovic)
Triangle (Director: Christopher Smith)
Tripping Forward (Director: Marcus Nash)
Two (2) Million Stupid Women (Director: Jamie Neese)
Ultimate Heist (Director: Alain Tasma)
Un tigre en la cama (Director: Rafael Montero)
Underworld: Rise Of The Lycans (Director: Patrick Tatopoulos)
Universal Soldier: Regeneration (Director: John Hyams)
Up In The Air (Director: Jason Reitman)
Vampire Killers (Director: Phil Claydon)
Veronika Decides To Die (Director: Emily Young)
Wake (Director: Ellie Kanner)
Wake Wood (Director: David Keating)
Walled In (Director: Gilles Paquet-Brenner)
Watchmen (Director: Zack Snyder)
Weather Girl (Director: Blayne Weaver)
What Goes Up (Director: Jonathan Glatzer)
Whiteout (Director: Dominic Sena)
Wild Cherry (Director: Dana Lustig)
Winter Of Frozen Dreams (Director: Eric Mandelbaum)
Within (Director: Hanelle M. Culpepper)
Within (Director: Marco Duran)
Women In Trouble (Director: Sebastian Gutierrez)
Wonderful World (Director: Joshua Goldin)
Words Unspoken (Director: Ingeborg C. Eiland)
World’s Greatest Dad (Director: Bob Goldthwait)
Wrong Turn At Tahoe (Director: Franck Khalfoun)
You Might As Well Live (Director: Simon Ennis)
Youth In Revolt (Director: Miguel Arteta)
ZMD: Zombies Of Mass Destruction (Director: Kevin Hamedani)
Zombie Women Of Satan (Directors: Steve O’Brien + Warren Speed)
Zombieland (Director: Ruben Fleischer)
Zone Of The Dead (Directors: Milan Konjevic + Milan Todorovic)

NC-17

Easier With Practice (Director: Kyle Patrick Alvarez)

Gambler hits $1.4M jackpot, casino says bingo machine “malfunctioned” | Ars Technica I’m sorry sir that machine was supposed to be rigged. You understand.

Gambler hits $1.4M jackpot, casino says bingo machine “malfunctioned”

Gambler hits $1.4M jackpot, casino says bingo machine “malfunctioned” | Ars Technica

Gambler hits $1.4M jackpot, casino says bingo machine “malfunctioned” - Gambler has no right to contest non-payment because casino is on tribal land.

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36 mega churches in Alabama, but a casino ended up paying for all the funeral costs for the tornado victims. Cause the Christians were all too busy getting their bibles autographed by their new lord and savior Trump. Something, something, you shall know them by their fruits.